Wow. I’m so excited! Car manufacturer SEAT has teamed up with Cosmopolitan to create the Mii – the car for women.
The motor was recently launched at FashFest in London. According to Susanne Franz, SEAT’s global marketing director, the car is “easy to use”. That’s a relief, I’ve been struggling to get to grips with these things called ‘cars’ that are already on the market.
As if the ‘eyeliner-style’ headlights weren’t exciting enough, it also comes in either violet or ‘candy white’ (not just white), and has lovely jewel-effect rims to offer a ‘surprise sparkle’. Squee!
And because my tired, girly feet cannot handle clutch control, and I don’t know what a handbrake is, it comes with a useful ‘hill hold’ device to prevent the car from rolling back. But that’s not all! Rather than throwing my bag in the passenger footwell like a normal person (or, you know… whisper it… like a man), I can now safely stow it on the handbag hook. Plus, I can touch up my makeup while on-the-go, thanks to the handy mirrors in the sun visors. Wow!
But I can’t help feeling there are a few things missing:
Tampon dispenser. I might need to make sanitary changes on the go! This would be soooooo much easier if this device was built into the car.
Tissue holder. My boss might occasionally offer constructive criticism, or my best friend might not answer my phone call. Naturally, I need to escape to my car and bawl buckets of women’s tears to get over it.
C’mon, Cosmo. I know this car has GPS but it’s not nearly big enough for me! I mean, navigating is so hard! Let’s make it three times the size!
Life-size ‘helpful husband’. I find it impossible to go anywhere without my husband providing useful advice when I’m driving. If you could bung an AI robot in the passenger seat that would be awesome!
What’s with the pedals? How on Earth am I meant to drive this car in high heels? Let’s just do away with them altogether, yeah?
The one-litre engine might just be a bit too exciting for me to handle. We women just can’t handle too much adrenaline. Let’s make it a little smaller (and more girly), okay?