Does that colleague really dislike you, or are you just imagining it? Most of us have wondered whether someone secretly dislikes us, but it can be difficult to tell because people rarely say so directly.
Instead, psychologists suggest that social rejection can reveal itself through subtle behavioural cues, from reduced eye contact and particular body language to fleeting microexpressions of contempt.
So, what are some of the signs that you should look out for?
1. They avoid eye contact
Where we direct our gaze reveals where our attention is focused.
Research suggests people tend to make more eye contact with individuals they find interesting, attractive or socially engaging.
By contrast, someone who repeatedly looks away, scans the room or avoids mutual gaze may be creating psychological distance.
2. Their facial expressions show contempt or disgust
Facial expressions can provide important unspoken clues about people’s thoughts and feelings. One expression that researchers find particularly interesting is contempt, often appearing as a slight one-sided lip raise or smirk.
Contempt communicates dismissal, superiority and a desire to distance oneself from another person, making it a potential sign of dislike.
Disgust can send a similar message. Although usually associated with unpleasant tastes or smells, psychologists argue that it can also signal a desire for social distance, communicating a wish to keep away from another person.
3. They smile less around you
Smiling is an important signal of social warmth. Research suggests that smiling faces are perceived as more approachable, trustworthy and socially affiliative, signalling friendliness and an interest in positive social interaction.
If someone smiles less around you than they do around other people, it may suggest reduced social warmth towards you.
4. Their body points away from you
It’s not all about facial expressions; body orientation can also tell us a lot about social engagement. People often position their bodies to face those they want to interact with, while turning away can signal withdrawal or reduced interest.
Researchers describe this as a nonverbal way of communicating psychological distance.
Even if someone is talking to you, if their body is angled away from you it might indicate that their attention is focused elsewhere.
5. They create physical distance
The study of how people use space, called proxemics, suggests that interpersonal distance often reflects social relationships.
People tend to allow those they feel comfortable with into their personal space, while greater physical distances are often associated with less intimate relationships.
So, if someone consistently keeps their distance, they may be signalling social distance.
A note of caution
Before deciding if that colleague dislikes you, remember that no single gesture, facial expression or body language cue definitively signals dislike.
Reduced eye contact, physical distance and less smiling can all have many explanations, including tiredness, shyness, neurodiversity, anxiety, distraction or cultural norms.
The strongest clues emerge when several signals occur together, repeatedly and across different situations. Scientists therefore recommend looking for patterns, rather than relying on a simple ‘do they dislike me?’ checklist.
This article is an answer to the question (asked by Chelsea Barnes, Inverness) 'How can I tell if someone dislikes me?'
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